In Your Worst Nightmares
by MarshieMello-Cookies
Summary: After the incident of Stan getting trapped in Facebook, Kyle is put in a similar situation. However, he finds himself stuck in Fan-Fiction. net! Kyle must complete five fanfics featuring himself to escape the clutches of this digital nightmare. Of course, the internet shall show no mercy!
1. Anti-climatic Introductions

Life has a tendency to take random twists at random intervals. It has the power to shock you to the core with plot twists that if you were reading them, would make you stop and gawp like a flounder, before crying out 'NO, INSERT CHARACTER NAME HERE, NO!' or 'Stop being a douche-face insert character name here!'.

In general, life's a real dick. Especially when it takes random turns, like a sudden drop on a rollercoaster. And everyone knows unexpected rollercoaster drops suck ass.

Especially if the person behind you just had a KFC Bargain Bucket and a whipped-cream-sprinkle-topped-super-mega-sundae.

But, this isn't really about fatasses who should really consider their diets before coaster-riding, or douche-faced characters. Ok, well, maybe it is. Just a little.

This is a story of appreciating what you have, morals and beliefs, religious issues, hope, friendship and never giving up-

"IKE! TURN YOUR GODDAMN DRAMATIC INTRO THINGY OFF! I'M TRYING TO DO HOMEWORK!" A voice pierced through the walls, followed by the dramatic intro coming to an extremely anti-climatic end.

The owner of the voice, older brother of said Ike, turned back round to his desk, continuing said homework. However, said homework happened to be nothing more than stalking Facebook.

"I swear…Just because I friend _one guy_, suddenly everyone unfriends me!" He grumbled to himself, clicks of the keyboard filling the room like a form of alternative music.

"Th..that asshole! Craig unfriended me now! That asshole!" He fumed momentarily, "Pfft…I never even liked him that much anyway…" He crappily attempted to reassure himself that it was a good thing.

He was failing.

Quite terribly.

Was this really how cruel and selfish the world could be? Why was he being tortured like this? Did people really have such hard hearts as to unfriend him? He couldn't wrap his head around the issue, no matter how deeply he contemplated it.

Was this his punishment for all the wrong things he did in his life so far? Sure, he knew he wasn't perfect, but at least he accepted it. He kept his beliefs strong and fought for the little guys. He even went to the Synagogue! Not that he truly wanted to, more on the fact that his terrifying mother forced him to. He was wise enough to know not to mess with her. Hell, the whole fucking town were well aware!

He leant back in his seat with an exasperated sigh, letting his arms dangle loosely at his sides.

"Screw this…"

He kicked his feet of the desk, making the chair swivel 180 degrees, before prying himself from it and heading downstairs to the kitchen for a snack. On arrival to said destination, he found that the only things left were bananas and a half empty box of Lucky Charms.

With a slight glare of hatred to the bananas, he poured some Lucky Charms. He didn't care what time of day it happened to be, he just wanted to chew on something purely for the sake of venting frustration.

"Fuck you bananas" He muttered, before heading back up to his room, plonking back onto the chair, and continuing to eat the cereal.

Heading to Facebook once again, he discovered that now Esther has unfriended him. Sure, he rarely talked to her, let alone fully recognised her presence in class, but this was just madness!

"Werr furck you too, Esturr" He spoke through a mouthful of cereal, muffling his words to sound like that guy from City Wok.

A loud smack on the window captured his attention. So it was _that_ time again. He got up from his seat to his over-flowing dreidel box beside the window.

As of late, it had become a daily custom of Eric Cartman's to throw rocks or something else stupid at Kyle's window, merely to ensure his day was at least 5% shittier. Kyle had used this as a good excuse to get rid of some of his many, many dreidels.

Selecting one at random, he opened the window and threw it forcefully at the chubby boy below. He closed the window, ignoring the cries of 'EY, FUCK YOU JEW!' and continuing to his ever important Facebook page.

Lazily scrolling through profiles, reading the information half-assedly, he had barely any time to react before a lime green laser beam burst through the screen, paralysing him. He barely had any time to pass any remarks, such as 'HOLY FUCKING SHIT' or 'JESUS H. CHRIST!', let alone think as everything went blank.

The green laser traced his frame, before returning to the computer, with the boy trapped inside its luminous lasso.

The room fell into a creepy silence, with only the soft buzz of the computer as a form of noise, and a half-empty bowl of Lucky Charms sitting in a rather lonesome manner on the desk, abandoned.


	2. Acquaintances with Yourself

Like a pixelated image, things went from blurred squares, each different hues of rich blues and indigoes, before focusing and blending into a picture.

Kyle watched as the world gradually changed from a distorted wasteland into a seemingly never-ending space of neon lights and circuit patterned wires dancing across the floor, walls and any other space.

Slowly, he fell out of his dazed stupor, the reality of the situation hitting him.

'_Holy fucking shit, my computer ate me!' _He thought to himself, just as the laser gripping him released its tight grip, sending its red-headed prisoner rather ungracefully to the neon-lit floor with an equally ungraceful 'oof'.

Picking himself up, the first thing he noticed was his change of clothing. His typical carrot-coloured outfit was replaced with a techy Tron-like suit, vibrant green wires patterned across it, releasing a soft glow and lighting up the darkness around him.

Instinct kicking in, he reached for his ever-so precious, beloved hat, breathing a huge sigh of relief to find it still perched on his head comfortably.

"Where the hell am I?" He asked himself as he looked around the strange new environment. It looked like a Tron-loving-techno-geek had gone overboard with decorating. Still, better than that one time his mom had decided to do some decorating. Anything was better than her poor choice in pink fluffy lampshades.

"Come on Kylie, you're the smart one. Figure that out for yourself"

Kyle turned around rapidly in search of the voice, surprised someone had actually answered his question. Looking behind him, he found a figure, highlighted by luminous red circuits and wires. The red gave an eerie glow to the person, sending uncomfortable shivers down Kyle's spine. Whoever this guy was, he didn't look like the good guy.

"Who are you?" Kyle asked, taking a hesitant step forward, peering into the shadows surrounding the mysterious person's face.

Said mysterious individual stepped out of the shadows, a suspicious smile playing across his lips. He tilted his head ever-so-slightly, piercing gaze aimed directly at the shocked red-head.

"No…no fucking way…" Kyle gawped at the red-clad boy like a retarded fish, opening and closing his mouth, but no words coming out. The red Tron boy was an exact copy of the other, only with a more evil touch. Like the evil twin. Come on, there's always an evil twin.

_Always._

"Yes fucking way" The other smirked, stepping ever closer, and giving Kyle a playful poke on the nose, sending him flinching backwards.

"Where the fuck am I and who the ever-loving fuck are you?!" Kyle exclaimed, stepping back more, the red-him giving him the creeps.

"And here I was, thinking you had the brains. You, dear Kylie, are in the Internet, and I happen to be Internet you" He answered simply.

"I…don't believe it…" He stuttered slowly, letting the information sink in.

"Really now? Shall I prove it?" He taunted, clicking his fingers. Right on cue, the dimly lit area exploded, sparks flying. A small army of dwarf sized PSY's entered seemingly from thin air, or rather a dark corner, and began to do Gangnam Style across the floor in a single file line.

Following this, a stick figure with a heavily exaggerated troll face entered, trololol-ing in a jolly good fashion. Small squares with rounded edges, bearing resemblance to Apps, flew in, each with a famous logo. Facebook, Google, Twitter, tumblr, Yahoo! and YouTube zoomed past, like suicide-bomber birds. Or Angry Birds, but suicide-bomber birds sounds more violent and kick-ass extreme.

The parade didn't stop there.

Browser symbol balloons floated upwards from the floor. Huge bunches of Google Chrome, Firefox and even Internet Explorer. However, much to no one's surprise, the Internet Explorer ones got stuck and the majority popped before even going anywhere.

"Okay, okay! I get it!" Kyle cried out, smacking away a leering Internet Explorer balloon. With another click of Internet-Kyle's fingers, the glorious parade of Internet-y glory ceased, as if it never happened in the first place.

"What am I doing here anyway? Isn't this kidnap?" Normal-Kyle asked, noticing how the eyes of his Internet alter-ego glowed a vibrant red, as if to say '_Look how motherfucking evil I look, bitches'_.

"Come on Kylie, who'd believe you if you claimed you'd been kidnapped by your Internet-self? Besides, I thought you'd never ask. You see, I got pretty bored here, and figured it might be time for a little…fun" He ended the sentence with a dangerous looking grin.

"You do know the way you said fun makes it sound anything but fun, right?" Kyle sighed, placing a hand to his forehead and sighing, "So, what is it?"

Creepy-Kyle gave yet another sly smile, leaning in close. Disturbingly close.

"Well Kylie, if you want to go home, you're going to have to…entertain me"

At this point, Kyle took several strides back, the tone in Creepy-Kyle's voice sounding painfully suggestive.

"Whoa, whoa, let's keep this PG-13!" This statement lead to an outburst of laughter from the other.

"Oh Kylie…Anywho, ever heard of Fan-Fiction?"At this, Kyle stiffened. He'd had his brushes with Fan Fiction in the past. Brushes that he'd willingly forget if his brain wasn't such a dick.

"Well, all you have to do for your freedom is complete five of them. Simple, right?"

"I guess..." He trailed off, deciding it was better not to get tangled up in a mess. Because he'd watched enough corny TV shows to know people who make deals with the evil guys get in a shit ton of trouble.

"Of course, there are some rules"

A sigh of annoyance.

"There always are, aren't there?" He grumbled, crossing his arms.

"Now, in each fanfic, you shall have the role of yourself. I'll guide you the whole way, but you have to do exactly what the fic states. No ifs, buts or any other shit like that. If you fuck up, you have to do it over until you get it right"

Kyle bit his lip, face contorted in thought.

"And what if I refuse?"

"Then we'll have sparkly glitter sleepovers here every night for the eternity, and I'll give you the pleasure of acquainting with Pedobear first. I can assure you, he won't be gentle" A smile of malicious intent shone brighter than the red lighting on his outfit, finalising his decision.

Could a few fanfics really be as bad as spending forever with his nutjob of an other self?

He sure as hell hoped not.

"Ok, fine, I'll do it. Just don't be a dick"

"Heh, moi? A dick? I think not" That goddamn smirk again. Kyle swore to himself, he'd do this shit just to wipe that shit eating grin of that bastard's face. Using that as encouragement, he readied himself for the shit-storm that lay ahead.

"Sure. Now, can I just get this over with?"

"Sure thing, Kylie" With that, he snapped his fingers once again, in true 'I'm a show-off bastard' fashion, and a single suicide bomber bird app swooped down, bearing a blue and white symbol of the letters F, A and N.

The suicide bomber bird app lived up to its namesake, exploding in a burst of neon light. The boy stiffened slightly as he felt the lights snake around him once more, pulling him in.

"I'll see you on the other side, Kylie! And don't worry, no matter what happens here, your virginity shall stay intact in your world!" Kyle could only see the sly wink of his other self as the light absorbed his field of vision.

Then, the parting words of Internet-Kyle hit him.

"WHAAAAT?!" He screeched, before the light fully consumed him, once again.


	3. Introducing Alexis

The dying screams of his loud 'WHAAAT?!' echoed as the blinding light faded, and he found himself, frozen in a position with his right arm extended, as if trying to strangle that cocky bastard just before he arrived in…in…

Where the hell was he anyway?

The red-head lowered his arm gently, noticing the Tron suit had disappeared, replaced with his normal clothes. He quickly reached for his hat, only to grab a handful of the much hated curls.

"Fuck! That bastard stole my hat!" He fumed, turning around to try and catch him, before halting and taking in his settings. Computer screen, desk, heck, even the tragically unloved bowl of Lucky Charms.

"Uh…so I was just dreaming. Huh." He muttered nonchalantly, somewhat thankful that he now wasn't trapped in a world of merciless fanfictions. He gave the Lucky Charms a glance.

"This is what I get for eating sugary shit, huh? Weird ass dreams…" He lifted the bowl, about to exit the room and deposit it in the kitchen, when a painfully familiar voice pierced the low noise levels of the room.

"Not so fast, Kylie"

In a mixture of shock and confusion, he turned around suddenly, to face a perfect copy of himself, minus the suggestively evil red eyes, sitting smugly on his bed, twirling his hat around his index finger like some kind of toy.

"Wait, what the fuck are you doing here?!" He pointed at his precious hat, "And give that back, asshole!"

"Uh-uh-uh, Kylie, don't wanna" He announced childishly, playing with the other's fiery temper, like the smart little fucker he was. Because face it, there's always one smart fucker who plays with fire and doesn't give a fuck if he's burnt.

Royally pissed, Kyle charged towards the other, in an attempt to quickly grab his hat back. What he wasn't expecting was other-Kyle to click his fingers once again, making a small hurdle erupt from the ground, directly in his path. Too caught up in his own annoyance, Kyle barely saw it before tripping over it, and sending the Lucky Charms bowl flying, landing quite perfectly on his head, soggy shapes and milk sliding down his humiliated face.

"That hat suits you much better, Kylie. Especially the rainbow on your nose. Nice touch"

"Fuck you" Kyle hissed, pulling himself from the floor and removing his bold fashion statement- I mean, cereal bowl from his head and flicking the mushy rainbow unceremoniously to some lonesome corner of the room.

"I think you're forgetting that you're in my world now, so you'll have to play by my rules here. Trust me, I can do much worse" The red-eyed Kyle said, tossing the green hat to the other, who gladly accepted it and tried to hide his milky locks with it.

"So, this isn't a fucked up dream then, huh?" He sighed, picking a stray heart marshmallow that had tried to cling on to a wild curl.

"No, sorry sweetcheeks. It's much better than that" He smiled, fidgeting into a cross legged position. If it weren't for the eyes that screamed 'I'M AN EVIL BASTARD!' and that general aura of malicious intent, he would've looked strangely innocent.

"Well, can't we just get this over with?"

"We've already begun fanfic number one" He stated plainly, no evil grins or emphasis on certain words, other than the rhyming scheme.

"Really? This must be a hell of a lot easier than I thought" Kyle replied, slightly surprised, expecting something flashier.

"Nah, I'm just getting started. I'm not a total throw-you-in-at-the-deep-end dick, you know"

"So, what's the story then? What exactly am I doing here?" Kyle asked, taking further inspection of the room. It was a perfect replica, if not the real deal.

"Ah, yes. Well Kylie, today, Alexis Destiny McCain has just moved to town! Sounds lovely, right? And the best part? You and her are gonna stick your tongues down each other's throats!" He announced, as if he'd just said the circus was coming to town.

"Ugh, couldn't you have phrased that better?" Kyle winced at the graphic description. It certainly wasn't the kind of thing he'd been planning on doing this weekend.

"Hold on…I'm not actually kissing her, am I? I thought I just had to read these"

Internet-Kyle, who had been sitting calmly on the bed, burst out into a fit of laughter. Not exactly cartoon-y evil laughter that would've been expected of him, but rather a laugh as if someone had just told him the funniest joke in the world wide web, like Internet Explorer running quickly.

Kyle, the normal one, stared in a mix of apprehension and confusion as to why his statement seemed to be of great hilarity to the other. Just then, a loud thud resounded the room as Internet-Kyle toppled backwards, losing his balance, yet still snickering like a snickety snicket, legs dangling in the air, waving like Wacky-Waving-Arm-Flailing-Tubemen.

"Hey, what's so funny?" Kyle hmmphed, not getting the joke. Then again, it wasn't the first time he was in this situation. A certain Fatass he knew had a real habit of laughing hysterically at his own jokes, only stopping to say 'Guys, seriously' or something like that, before laughing again, without explaining how his stupid joke was at all humorous.

"Oh Kylie…silly, naïve Kylie" He finally calmed down, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes and picking himself up from the floor, "Didn't it hit you when I said you'd take the role of yourself? You're not reading this in first person, sweetie, you are you! This fanfic is now your life, until you complete it!"

Much like his transfer to his current environment, Kyle released another loud 'WHAAAT?!', only making his crimson eyed self snigger more.

"You've got to be fucking with me!"

"Nope, sorry hun" Came the reply.

"And for fuck's sake, stop with all the gay nicknames, like Kylie and sweetcheeks! Aren't you meant to be me? Because I'm pretty damn sure I don't go around calling other guys hun!"

Internet-Kyle started laughing again, much to Normal-Kyle's annoyance, but stopped much sooner than the previous time.

"Oh, the irony! Yes Kylie, I am you. The internet version of you. Has it ever crossed your mind that, oh, I don't know, my sexuality may differ? Don't worry, you'll get what I mean sooner or later"

Kyle was about to question exactly what he meant by that, but his other made a gesture that signalled moving on from the topic, before speaking again.

"Now, I figured I should also mention that you are the only one who can see and hear me. So I'll literally be with you every step of the way, like it or not. Anyway, you better get moving! Kaylie What-ever-the-fuck-her-name-is is awaiting!"

Never in his whole life had he wanted to smash his head against the wall so badly.

After a walk down the stairs and out the door, Kyle realised this place was truly an amazing replica of his home. Every detail, from the awkward family portrait, hung tilted on the wall, to the puke stains on the carpet from when Ike thought he could eat and shit ton of chocolate and coffee without being sick.

It was only when he began his typical walk to the bus stop, did he realise something...off. Everything looked normal, just from a somewhat different perspective. The regular bus stop loomed into view, with three other figures already there.

Kyle took a deep breath, ignoring any remarks his Internet-self made, and hoped his friends and guy-whose-not-really-his-friend-but-generally-hang s-out-with-anyway weren't much different from their usual selves.

Of course, things didn't happen to be exactly on his side.

As he approached them with slight caution, he noticed that it wasn't even them. But they were. Standing there were 3 teenage boys, dressed in a similar fashion to what his friends and not-friend typically wore.

Confused, he decided to play it safe with a simple 'Hey'.

To his surprise, the Stan lookalike gave him a casual smile and greeted him in Stan's voice.

"S…stan?" He asked slowly, questioning if this really was the real deal. Could he really trust the fuckery of fanfiction? He thought of asking his other self, until he remembered his previous words.

'_You are the only one who can see and hear me'_

Despite the high levels of cliché, he figured that talking to thin air probably wouldn't help him in his current situation.

"Yeah? What's up Kyle? Something wrong?" The older Stan replied, confirming Kyle's thoughts.

"When the heck did you get this old?" He asked, causing the three to stare at him with a look of confusion.

"Great job Kylie. You've fucked things up already. Now they're suspicious" Internet Kyle finally said, after his strange silence. Sighing, he continued "Ok, just roll with it. I'm giving you a chance here, ok?"

Sticking to his earlier decision of not speaking to Internet-Kyle, he accepted his words and rapidly tried to think of a suitable explanation for his situation.

"Kyle? What the hell on you going on about? You're older than me, and hey, 16 is hardly old" Stan replied, still somewhat confused at his friend's strange outburst.

Fuck. _Fuuuuuck_. He had to make an excuse. _Fast_.

"Oh…uh, yeah! I…uh…just…was thinking about how…uh…it'll be your birthday soon?"

"Good work Kylie! That didn't make you look retarded at all!" The bastard behind him replied in a cheerfully sarcastic manner.

"Kyle, my birthday isn't for months. What's up, dude? You're not acting like yourself"

"Yep, totally not retarded! I love how you considered just how near his birthday is!" The sarcastic bastard cheered again, obviously getting a kick out of the awkwardness of the situation.

"Oh...yeah. Just checkin', y'know?" He laughed awkwardly, trying to cover up just how miserably he was failing. Just before anyone could interject, the bus rolled up. Kyle nearly hugged the custard-mobile in sheer joy.

Getting onto it, his eyes fell upon all the school bus regulars. One itsy-bitsy difference though. They were all _fucking _teenagers. Trying hard to hide just how awkward he felt, he decided to try and roll with it, sitting in his normal seat beside Stan.

Internet-Kyle plopped down on the aisle beside him, crossing his legs and looking up at Kyle, eyes connecting with the powerful glare being sent down.

"What the fuck is going on here!" He hissed, trying to discreetly converse with the bastard who got him into this.

"Oh, yeah. I guess I forgot to mention that for the sake of the this whole shebang not being counted as pedo-ish, your ages have been boosted up"

For the third time, Kyle almost yelled 'WHAAAT?!' but stopped himself, in case he looked like a total nutjob.

"You just forgot such a huge fucking detail?!" He whispered harshly, clearly none too pleased with the red-eyed-bastard's antics.

"Aw, relax! Nothing's really changed. If it makes you feel better, you still have Garrison for some random, unexplainable reason"

"Woop-dee-fucking-doo" He cheered quietly, words laden heavy with sarcasm, like a stack of pancakes drenched in syrup by that one idiot who thought one more dollop couldn't hurt, but it actually gave him diabetes.

On arrival at school, Kyle decided it would be best to keep to himself for a while, just in case of anymore fuck-ups. Before that though, he departed from his friends and hurried to the bathrooms. He approached a mirror, and gawped at the sight.

'_This couldn't be…' _He thought, tracing his cheekbone gently, testing if this wasn't just some damn good illusion. He looked kind of like himself, just…different. Older, obviously, but something else he couldn't exactly put his finger on. Lucky him, skipping out on the joys of puberty.

He examined himself further, turning his head, to capture the angles of his new face, wondering if he really was destined to look like this in a few years. He turned to take his leave, giving another frown to his counterpart.

"Tell me when shit will happen next time, will you?" He sighed, continuing to class.

Shuffling along the halls, and buried in his thoughts of now apparently being a teenager, he didn't notice a very…_interesting _character bustling along the halls, and colliding headfirst into him, catching him off guard and causing him to stumble, before regaining balance.

"Sorry about that" He muttered, not bothering to take notice of her.

"Damn right you're sorry! These jeans are new! And who the hell do you think you are, walking around, knocking new people around! Geez!" She cried out.

After the rude outburst, Kyle took a good look at the apparent new girl…and nearly shat himself.

There she stood, in skin-tight skinny jeans of the skinny specific, heeled boots with little spikes, a neon top, that would make any highlighter jealous, layered with a denim shirt, sleeves rolled up to reveal a weighty amount of bracelets on each arm, like a golden snake had decided she looked like a tasty meal, only stopped halfway from seeing her face and died in horror.

Said face caked in makeup, thick neon pink lipstick and heavy heapings of eyeliner, topped with fake eyelashes and lashings of eye shadow, giving her an appearance of sunken, tired eyes of a dying person. Very attractive.

Her skin was a vibrant shade; vibrant shade of carrot, that is. Her eyebrows were thick and primed to perfection. Or as a caterpillar mating device, your choice.

On top of it all, her blonde hair dip-dyed brown fell in waves down to her thighs, which was a rather ridiculous length, in his own opinion.

All in all, this girl was…something.

"Wow-wee! Meet Alexis Destiny McCain, Kylie-boo!" His other self snickered at her exaggerated appearance, and more importantly, Kyle's reaction.

"Hey? Are you even listening to me?" She huffed, hands on her hips and face pulled into a strained duckface of annoyance. Her large hoop earrings shifted slightly as she sighed in annoyance.

"Hey, do you know where Garrison's class is? I'm lost in this shithole"

"Oh..uh…I'm in Garrison's class. Actually, I was just heading there now" Kyle found words, still somewhat horrified that _this _was the girl he was destined to fall in love with.

"Ugh, I guess I'll just follow you then. Come on, let's go" Feeling like he had no choice in the matter, Kyle decided he may as well lead the way.

"Come on, loverboy! Make it interesting!" Internet-Kyle urged, appearing at Kyle's side with a large bucket of popcorn. Kyle gave him a look of 'Where the fuck did you get that from?'

Smiling, Internet-Kyle announced, "Because I have a feeling things will get interesting", making Kyle feel rather uneasy with what was in store for him.

Upon arrival at class, he took his seat next to Stan, who was currently taking an interest in the new girl, as where the rest of the class.

"Who's the new chick?" Stan asked him, eyes still fixed on her as she handed some papers to Garrison.

"Oh, I don't really know. She was just lost" Kyle said plainly, taking careful consideration of his words to avoid future fuck-ups.

"Damn skippy! Her boobs are fucking huge!" Kenny commented, not surprising anyone, except Kyle, who realised his voice was a lot clearer, with his parka hood down.

'_Wait…' _Kyle thought to himself, '_Why the fuck is Kenny not wearing his parka?', _but brushed it off, deciding it was best not to get himself into any further bullshit.

"Bitch looks like a damn hoe" Cartman added, not particularly interested in the new girl, but still keeping his eyes locked on her.

"Okay class. This is Alexis Destiny McCain. She's new, so you all be nice, and don't be little shits, ok? Alexis, take any seat you like, don't be shy now"

With that, she plopped down on the nearest desk, which just so conveniently happened to be just behind Kyle's. What a coincidence!

The lesson began as normal; Garrison complaining on why last night's date was a failure and why they shouldn't date hairy bikers for several, very detailed reasons.

Losing interest after something about 'lack of a good damn deodorant' , Kyle focused his attention into rolling his pen from one edge of the desk to another. Of course, the pen, happened to be a sly little plot device. And like all sly little plot devices, it rolled off the desk and landed on the ground with a soft clatter, before slowly edging towards Stan's desk.

Having nothing better to do, Kyle leant down awkwardly, bending his body in a rather uncomfortable way to try a reach the sneaky pen, which may as well have been rolling away with a little troll face.

Stan, who noticed his best friend's awkward plight for his pen, leant down to pick it up. Grasping it, he leant up to give it to the red head, when shit happened.

Alexis, who was too busy on her phone, latched her heel onto the chair leg of Kyle's chair , and without realising, gave it a sharp tug. In normal circumstances, nothing would've happened, but with two legs of the chair off the ground in an obstinate mission to retrieve the pen, the balance was overthrown, and Kyle found himself toppling face first onto the floor.

Embarrassing as it was, with everyone's gaze now averted to him, falling was the least of his worries. What worried him was how he and Stan's lips were pressed together in the accident.

"I knew you guys were fags!" Cartman announced quite proudly, smug in the fact that he was apparently right.

As quickly as he could, Kyle pulled away, Stan following. Both avoided eye contact, and generally felt extremely uncomfortable in the situation.

"Eager, huh? Sorry Kylie, Stan-make-out-time is for later, not now" Through his burning cheeks, Kyle could _feel _that motherfucking smirk.

"You're gay?! Ew! Faggot! Stay the fuck away from me!" Alexis exclaimed, obnoxiously, shuffling away as if he was ridden with a deadly, contagious disease. Great. Horrible personality, and a homophobic ass.

He had a sinking feeling this wasn't going to end well, as for the third time, the white light swallowed everything, and the mixed shouts of 'Holy shit!' and 'They're gay?!' faded into silence.

Dammit. If things had to end with a white light next time, he might flip a coffee table.

**A/N: Holy crap! Over 3000 words for one chapter? That's probably the most I've ever written! Anywho, thanks for reading! OC's aren't my thing, but for the sake of Kyle being trapped in a poorly written OC fic, it was pretty necessary.**

**-Cookie**


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